I’m not flirting and I don’t like you like that, I’m just a nice person

Posted on Updated on

I saw this title on a Facebook “Like” page.  It resonated with me. Musicians. I know there are many women out there, vying for something from you other than your music.  I’m just not one of them.

I think one thing that drew me to admiring the musicians as individuals, was that many of them have relationships with their wives that have lasted since high school!  This is true love.  It really exists!  It is so romantic to hear Gerald Albright talk lovingly about Glynis and Kirk Whalum speak of Ruby as his “rib”. Wayman would glow about his Gina. I’ve sat next to Euge and Bane Grove, and Euge would not let Bane’s hand go!  It is so very nice to see that, especially in these times of broken marriages (mine being one of them). I have also been fortunate enough to see Steve and Carol Gadd here in Scottsdale, looking so happy together with their family.  I often see Rick Braun with Christiane, Steve Oliver with Gisela, Paul Taylor with LaRonda, and Shilts with his beautiful wife! Obviously, they can’t all join their husbands on the road, but I have seen lovely photos of Jeff and Audrey Golub, Nate and Helen Harasim and Brian Culbertson and Michelle (Micaela Haley).

A bunch of us women were having an inbox discussion, and one friend put this out there:

  1. Why are many women attracted to musicians?
  2. Why do women tend to tell the male musicians that they are cute in their pictures and not say anything about their playing ability?

An excerpt from my answer was:

  • Many Women are attracted to “Bad Boys”, and they think that of the Musicians
  • I have met some beautiful, amazing wives, and I respect them a lot, ’cause that’s a hard life to have to live, and I couldn’t do it!

Much to the opposite of the “Bad Boy” image, I have found many artists to be very spiritual.  Giving thanks to the Lord, ministering through their music. I have been uplifted by their messages many times. Now, I do talk smack on my Facebook page with a lot of Artists, (who generally don’t respond back).  Okay, so I did put a dubious post on Eric Darius’ page about one of his photos, but I qualified it by saying that I’m old enough to be his Mother!  He’s a cutie! I may be old, but I’m not blind! Yet I hope that he also knows that I appreciate his musicianship even more.

If I say to one of my FB friends “Stay away from my Jeffy” or “Stop hugging my Peter White”, it is truly in jest, and I would hope that their wives and girlfriends would know this to be the case.  The fact that I just show up at so many concerts might make someone suspect, but I think that by now, people would recognize that I’m gone after the  CD signing and picture-taking.  If I’m hanging at the bar, and can buy the musician a drink, I am honored to do so!  It is not a pickup ploy. C’mon, you’ve seen me at these concerts.  I’m hardly dressed to impress!

I am not naive, however.  I know that there are women (and men, thinking of Jessy J, Mindi, Candy and Pamela Williams for a start) who are trying to get the romantic attention of the musicians.  And I have heard of those Musicians who picked their girlfriends from out of the audience.  I would think that it would be pretty rare, however.  Those who try to date the artists online, I believe, are wasting their time.

To the wives and girlfriends, I salute you!  I couldn’t do it!  These guys are on the road constantly, from what I see, just trying to make a living for their families. It has to be stressful.  And lonely.  If you knew how much admiration that I had for you…..it’s off the charts!  I want to run up and hug Ruby, Bane, Glynis and Audrey, but they would for sure call security, so I refrain.

So, just for the record, if I’m hugged up with Peter, Darryl or Chris, this should not be thought of as inappropriate behavior.  If I send Jeff a post saying I can never leave him, don’t label me a home wrecker or circulate rumors.  Quite often, I want to post on a Musician’s Facebook page “I LOVE YOU, MAN!”– because I do!  I love you through the music that you play, music that inspires, relaxes and takes me away from my troubles.  I love you as the Passionate Fan.

Passionately Yours,



4 thoughts on “I’m not flirting and I don’t like you like that, I’m just a nice person

    lisa said:
    November 29, 2010 at 1:22 pm


    Fan #1 said:
    August 12, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    Lory, I second your sentiments and I can say that you simply do love the arts and the musicians for what they do. Although, that is not everyone’s agenda and for them, that’s their business and they are the one’s who have to answer to God for their actions. Everyone on the playing field is grown and it takes two to go that route. As long as you know who you are, you don’t have to make any excuses or justify your actions to anyone. You are supporting the artists and their families. The wives and girlfriends knew what they were getting into before they said “I do”. Some musicians have open relationships and some well, you know the rest.

    Keep supporting live music and be blessed for having the means to go concerts, cruises etc. For without you, FB would be dull….lol

    You know how much dedication they put forth and hard work. Often times, the musicians have to make many sacrifices to be a musician.


    renovatio06 said:
    August 12, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Lory – if you had any idea how soothing this write up of yours read to me! By no means do I mean to say that I saw myself anywhere near those music greats you mention in your post. And until recently it hadn’t even crossed my mind that anyone would put me there. And then I learnt a painful lesson…

    My point being: The kind of women you’re referring to – and they’re out there, unfortunately – might become a reason for me to quit thinking about coming back to music full time and in a live setting. The behaviour you mention makes me sick to the gut, to be brutally honest. I am aware, I’m reading my own thing into your post, when you probably meant to clear up where you stand with the artists you admire. And in you doing so, it reminded me that female audiences don’t ALL consist of those “predators” you describe, but – like you and your friends – actually go there, because they appreciate the music. Awwww!!! Soothing, seriously.

    On a side note and to those, who might feel “busted” by your article: If they had any idea, how unattractive they become by advertisting themselves like chopped meat on sale! To me, there’s hardly anything to get me run for the hills faster than that hungry look on their faces *yuck*!

    So… thanks for reminding us of real, working relationships, families sticking together, loyalty and trust, in a nutshell: Real values! I sincerely thank you.

      LoryG responded:
      August 13, 2010 at 9:06 am


      I so appreciate you giving me a performers perspective of the situation. Maybe those followers that have ulterior motives will see your opinion, and think twice about what image is really being presented of them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s